Understanding and Empathy

We should always be there for our children. They have fears just like we do. They have concerns just like we do. They have problems just like we do. They each have a unique point of view, just like we do. We should take all of these things seriously, and help our children to deal with them. Parents are the first line of defense for upsetting situations in life. If we teach them how to deal with them when they are young, then they will be more able to do so for themselves when they are older. Teaching THEM how to do it is important, because if YOU solve all of their problems for them, then they will only learn how to be dependant on you to solve life's problems for them. Problems are going to happen. Each child is different, and therefore reacts to things differently, so what may have not been a problem for one child, can be a big one for another. We all have our own "issues", and knowing what your child's are can help you know when you should step in for a life 101 lesson, and when to let them brainstorm for themselves. Embarrassment can be a big problem for kids. They aren't ready yet to let words go and they internalize each mean or embarrassing thing said and done to them. When they come to you with incidences that cause them embarrassment it's important for you as the parent to help build their self esteem back up and remind them that some kids can be mean, and that they are a wonderful, unique individual to not let others define them for their percieved short comings, whether they actually are a problem or not. That will help them navigate our emotional minefields later in life. A child's issues are as important as an adults. Especially to them. Being "just a kid" doesn't make things hurt any less, but actually more, because they are emotionally immature and can't deal with upsets as easily as an adult can. Anything important enough for someone to be upset about, is important. If we use our understanding to help them see things from a bigger perspective, that will help show them that, someday, they will be as able to think things out as you can, and will give them confidence that they will be o.k. in the adult world, not left behind by the mean perceptions that others are spouting at them now. Children's perspective you must understand is alot more big, scary and powerful. If you can remember how it felt to be little and everything was so big and you didn't understand alot of things and you felt powerless, then you can empathize with your children and help them cope with their fears and feelings of inadequacy. We should all show concern for a child's problem so that they know that they are important to us. Remembering how you felt as a child, and having knowledge of who your child is and how they think will help you be able to help them come up with strategies for dealing with their problems in a constructive manner which will build their self esteem, confidence and a positive outlook on life.

Until next blog!

Love, Angelia
www.worksofheart.bravehost.com