Making Decisions, Solving Problems

To solve any problem that we may have, we have to be able to see it as a problem. Usually, that's not until it smacks us in the face, or pocketbook, or however the impact shows up. Then, we have to start weighing the alternatives. It's best to get a sheet of paper, and actually write things down. It makes problems more tangible somehow, and solutions more solid, too. Write every idea that comes to mind down, no matter how silly it seems to you. Ask a trusted friend to make suggestions, too, so you can get a fresh perspective on things. It's o.k. to get a little silly, as long as you're seriously thinking about how to solve the problem. Keep on writing until you can't think of anything more to put down. Then go down the list of ideas.

Evaluate each idea. Decide which ones would support you best. Ask yourself what you would do for someone else if this were someone else's problem. Don't beat yourself up if you are having trouble. Sometimes we're just too emotionally involved in the problem at first to see clearly.

Run each solution through the self-love litmus test. Is this unkind to anyone, including myself? Is this hurtful to anyone involved? Is this unfair to anyone involved? Is this dishonest to anyone involved? Remember to include yourself in those answers. Ultimately, we can not please everyone, so it's important to take care of yourself first. If you're a wreck, you won't be there for anyone else.

Then choose your option that is the best for everyone involved, including yourself. Remember in solving a problem, you don't want to create more problems.

Write out your plan of action, then follow it through. Inaction only prolongs problems and creates hard feelings, stress, and possibly illness. If your choice is unacceptable to the other people involved, then you may go back to your list and look for a compromise with them, but unfortunately, not everyone is willing to compromise. If you find yourself in a situation that is causing you emotional, psychological or physical pain, and the others involved are unwilling to compromise with you to come to a solution, then your only option may be to say your peace, bow out, and move on.

Weigh things out. How does this effect your long term goals, needs, etc? Look at yourself. What started this problem? Is there anything that you can do to prevent such problems in the future? What do I need to work on in my "getting along" tool box? We can feel good when we successfully solve a problem, and we can take ownership of our part of the situation when we can't. Don't let other's problems become yours.

In making any decision, we must be informed, so do your homework about the underlying problem. Problem solving is a vital skill for life, since no one's life will be free from problems.

Until next blog!

Love, Angelia

The Formal Operations Stage

In the stage of formal operations, adolescents develop the ability to deal with abstract information and theoretical propositions. They can formulate and test hypotheses in a scientific manner.
They can use combinational logic, which is the ability to find all the possible alternatives; ie., when asked what the president could have done in a certain situation, a teenager will produce a great many alternatives, some real, some impractical. If given five jars of clear liquid and told that some combination will yield a yellow liquid, an adolescent will use an efficient and effective strategy that will produce all possible alternatives.
They can separate the real from the possible, which is the ability to separate oneself from the real world and consider different possibilities. The ability to accept propositions that are contrary to reality; ie., a teenager can imagine other realities, other life styles and think about what could be rather than what is. A teenager can readily discuss propositions such as, "What if all humans were green?"
They can use abstractions, which is the ability to deal with material that is not observable; ie., and adolescent understands higher-level concepts such as democracy and liberty as well as the abstract meaning in proverbs.
They can use hypothetical deductive reasoning, which is the ability to form hypotheses and use scientific logic; ie., a teenager uses deductive logic to test a hypothesis.
Alot goes on in our cocoon of adolescence!
Until next blog!
Love, Angelia