What Brings You Peace?
At this point in my life, I am looking for peace. There are worries in my life, of course. There are also awesome things that I am looking forward to. I look forward to seeing the majesty of God's throne; not to mention God. I hope to be in the grand procession of those seeing the amazingness of Heaven. Hope to see the angels singing and playing in reverence to Our Lord. I long to see the rainbow cities, the rooms for us all, the endless sea of glass. But, yet, when I reach out for it, it slips farther away peacefully, the angels smiling as if to say, "It is not your time, yet."
The night with it's crickets and frogs makes me feel peaceful. It gets me ready to sleep and dream. To dream of Heaven and angels, and sometimes the fallen one slips his claws into a dream. But mostly, I dream of people and times and things that I love. Sparkling, pretty dreams of love and laughter. Sometimes, it's sad when I slip into wakefulness that the beautiful dream world is not the real one. Sometimes I dream of space, and beings coming from another place and starting it all here.
I have inadvertently broken some hearts, I hear. I never meant to. I have had people stalk me, or purposefully do things to hurt me. I was told once by a "friend" that I ruined a guy when I went out with him. (Some friend!) It's sad when someone actually wants to break someone's heart in revenge.
I am looking forward to some rest. I have grown up, raised my kids, helped others build their dreams, and built my own. I have no serious complaints. I am right with God as far as I know. I am excited about going to Heaven. I will be happy to see my angel friends, who I've seen in dreams. I hope to have a beautiful place to rest. But, I can also wait a while longer. I have not done a lot of things that I'd like to. But, I am tired. I have seen a lot of good, and bad. I have had the love of some wonderful people, familial, friendship and romantic. I have had a lot of good times, and a lot of laughs. Life does pass quickly. How did it all start? How will it all end? I have never meant to hurt anyone. I have even restrained from getting justice from people who have seriously hurt me. I've turned the other cheek. I have never really understood some male's pride and ego, how they get so hurt so quick by what seemed like me to be something trivial. (Women are the emotional ones?!) I have also not got the extent of some people's jealousy and the lengths they go to for their revenge. I have had people use and abuse me. I have had people "broom" me in favor of what they thought was a "trade up". But all in all, I've always looked towards the things that bring me peace; sunshine, breezes, water, the hope of salvation, nature, and a good laugh. What more can you ask for?!
Rev. Angelia Schwarz Coleman, PhD.E.
Minister Works of Heart Ministry, Outreach & Education
Executive Director Healing Families' Lives, Inc.
Louisville and the surrounding areas
wohwomensministry@gmail.com
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Thursday, March 14, 2019
Friday, March 8, 2019
Doing Your Best
Doing Your Best
I work hard! I do the best that I can, even though I work for myself. It can be frightening to some to be in charge of your own work and not have a "boss".
But, my health forced me to pursue other avenues. I get up as early as I can, some days, that's not until the double digits of the morning; it just depends each day. Some days breakfast is really brunch. But, I do my best to continue my studies, and enjoy my work. I would like to be retired, or not have to work so hard just to earn a few dollars. But this is the real world, and even though my doctors and I feel that I have earned it, the SSA has repeatedly decided that someone of my caliber, can do SOMETHING to support themselves, even if they are physically incapable of working for an employer anymore. So, I hang here, in a delicate balance, depending mostly on others, and just hoping that I can help someone with what little I can do.
I grow a little more tired every day. I am so tired some days, that death would seem like a peaceful release and a chance to sleep without pain. My life is broken in many places, but I have done my best to glue the pieces together each time, and keep moving. I really love what I do, and feel like if I help just one person come through the canyon, to the top and out, then I have accomplished something. Then I can sail away with a smile at the end. I wouldn't have it any other way. I feel like I am finally doing what God put me here to do. My good clients and students who have finished my programs have told me how much I've helped them, and I'm glad to be able to do that.
My work is mentally and emotionally draining. I work as hard for me as I ever did for any boss, I can just get fewer hours in. I know people who say they could never work for themselves, they'd be afraid that they wouldn't work without a boss to keep them motivated. For me, being able to take care of my personal needs, and helping others to overcome what I have is my motivation. I am in bad physical shape; from head to toe! I hate it when I just can't get up. My son has shaken me awake when my alarm clock was going off for an hour, and I didn't hear it and wake up, I was that sound asleep. I know I am not healthy and need the sleep, but it's frustrating. I feel out of place knowing that I am having brunch when the early risers are having lunch. But, I have worked hard, taking care of others' parents and grandparents when I worked at a nursing home and got hurt, and I've taken care of others' children when I worked at a preschool, where I also got hurt. When I was told to quit my physical job by my doctor because of osteoschlerosis, I moved to clerical work. I worked for a lawyer, psychologist and a counselor. But, with clerical jobs, you still have to stoop, bend, lift and write and type all day, which led to carpal tunnel, ganglionic cysts and a thumb rebuild. So, I've worked myself out of work! But, I still have to live. I'm not the type of person who can just sit on my butt and do nothing. I hate being dependent on others to help me with housework, and paying bills. I used to start yawning around midnight or so, now, it's an all day thing. Some days, after I shower and dress, I am wiped out! But, I keep moving, however slow it might look to others that day. I have been well blessed by God, so I keep doing my best to serve where and how I can. I can see an end upcoming. I know that I have done my best. I know that when I pass those pearly gates, all haters and judgmental people will be gone. I will be free and at peace, finally. I long to hear, "Well done, my good and faithful servant!". How about you? Did you do your best today?
Rev. Angelia Schwarz Coleman, PhD.E.
Minister Works of Heart
Executive Director Healing Families' Lives, Inc.
wohwomensministry@gmail.com
I work hard! I do the best that I can, even though I work for myself. It can be frightening to some to be in charge of your own work and not have a "boss".
But, my health forced me to pursue other avenues. I get up as early as I can, some days, that's not until the double digits of the morning; it just depends each day. Some days breakfast is really brunch. But, I do my best to continue my studies, and enjoy my work. I would like to be retired, or not have to work so hard just to earn a few dollars. But this is the real world, and even though my doctors and I feel that I have earned it, the SSA has repeatedly decided that someone of my caliber, can do SOMETHING to support themselves, even if they are physically incapable of working for an employer anymore. So, I hang here, in a delicate balance, depending mostly on others, and just hoping that I can help someone with what little I can do.
I grow a little more tired every day. I am so tired some days, that death would seem like a peaceful release and a chance to sleep without pain. My life is broken in many places, but I have done my best to glue the pieces together each time, and keep moving. I really love what I do, and feel like if I help just one person come through the canyon, to the top and out, then I have accomplished something. Then I can sail away with a smile at the end. I wouldn't have it any other way. I feel like I am finally doing what God put me here to do. My good clients and students who have finished my programs have told me how much I've helped them, and I'm glad to be able to do that.
My work is mentally and emotionally draining. I work as hard for me as I ever did for any boss, I can just get fewer hours in. I know people who say they could never work for themselves, they'd be afraid that they wouldn't work without a boss to keep them motivated. For me, being able to take care of my personal needs, and helping others to overcome what I have is my motivation. I am in bad physical shape; from head to toe! I hate it when I just can't get up. My son has shaken me awake when my alarm clock was going off for an hour, and I didn't hear it and wake up, I was that sound asleep. I know I am not healthy and need the sleep, but it's frustrating. I feel out of place knowing that I am having brunch when the early risers are having lunch. But, I have worked hard, taking care of others' parents and grandparents when I worked at a nursing home and got hurt, and I've taken care of others' children when I worked at a preschool, where I also got hurt. When I was told to quit my physical job by my doctor because of osteoschlerosis, I moved to clerical work. I worked for a lawyer, psychologist and a counselor. But, with clerical jobs, you still have to stoop, bend, lift and write and type all day, which led to carpal tunnel, ganglionic cysts and a thumb rebuild. So, I've worked myself out of work! But, I still have to live. I'm not the type of person who can just sit on my butt and do nothing. I hate being dependent on others to help me with housework, and paying bills. I used to start yawning around midnight or so, now, it's an all day thing. Some days, after I shower and dress, I am wiped out! But, I keep moving, however slow it might look to others that day. I have been well blessed by God, so I keep doing my best to serve where and how I can. I can see an end upcoming. I know that I have done my best. I know that when I pass those pearly gates, all haters and judgmental people will be gone. I will be free and at peace, finally. I long to hear, "Well done, my good and faithful servant!". How about you? Did you do your best today?
Rev. Angelia Schwarz Coleman, PhD.E.
Minister Works of Heart
Executive Director Healing Families' Lives, Inc.
wohwomensministry@gmail.com
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