Teen Sexuality

In middle adolescence, around the ages of 14-16, thoughts turn to sexuality. When we're little kids, we just dream of getting married and kissing and hugging, and that's all that we really know about physical love. During our preteen stage, we start to have feelings about the opposite sex, but are still in our same-sex stage, where the majority of our time and interest is spent on members of our same sex. We may even have fantasies about same-sex friends, which is normal. By the age of fourteen, we are usually forming a knowledge of who we are sexually. Innocent thoughts of hugs and kisses start to turn to curiousity of what members of the opposite sex, same sex, or both, look like in the nude, and what we might do, if we saw them in that state. Sexual fantasies start to rule our dreams as our bodies are flooded with hormones. This is the time when it is important to tell our children what type of sexual behaviors we expect, and don't expect them to engage in. We need to tell them we understand their feelings, have had such feelings, and even if they don't seem to be listening, they are. Ignorance abounds in the schools, and they will hear many things about sexuality, and it's important that they feel that they can talk to their parents to clear up any misconceptions that peers may have led them to. Such as the old tale that you can not get pregnant your "first time". I know a woman who did. I won't even go into the one about the rubber bands! With society's glorification of sex and their peer's pressure to engage in such activities, it's definately important for our children to know that they can talk to us about such matters. It may be uncomfortable, but it's better that they get such knowledge from you, than their peers, who may not know as much as they think that they do! There are many books that have been written on the subject of talking to your kids about sexuality, you can visit your library, google the subject, or talk to your home and school resources person to find materials to help get you ready to broach that uncomfortable subject. Wouldn't you rather they hear it from you the right way?!