Understanding Development

As most of you know, my expertise is in child development. The way that we developed in childhood effects us in every aspect of our lives. Our outcome is a reflection of the balance, or lack thereof, that we found growing up in our world. With our first relationship, our mother, every other relationship grows outward like the eternal spiral. If we were protected, we feel safe. If we were, or felt that we were, at risk, then we feel afraid.

I work with new mothers, and teen mothers, to help prevent those first two all important relationships, that with mom and dad, from derailing all of the future ones for that child. I have talked with families about negative dynamics in them. All friendships, co-workers, neighbors, any one they know, are effected by the first relationships that we experience.

We are a product of our biology, but we are also a product of our psychology, and sociology. If we had loving, compassionate, effective caregivers, then most likely, we will be the same. If we didn't, we may need to do a little homework to learn how to give our child the best outcome. When we know how children develop, it helps us to understand them better, have more patience with them, and be able to see things from their point of view. We are continuously developing. (Unless of course, we choose not to.)

My Career Diploma in Child Psychology & Development took 18 months of my life to earn. The benefits that it has given me, are timeless. It helped me to see why I had developed some of the past behaviors that I have shed. I did not feel safe, or like my life was balanced growing up. I never knew what would happen next, and was often on pins and needles waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was very shy and fearful. That is why I have done my best to make my children feel safe and loved, and I love doing that for other mothers and children. Some older family members I've tried to work with in these cases have not been cooperative. They still hold old world values that put children in a light that is little better than that of the family dog. They still do not realize how negative experiences stunt a child's growth and development. Just because your parents may have beaten you, as much information is out there today, you should know, that beating your children is wrong. If you don't believe that then you need to go see a counselor. They can explain to you how abuse can actually effect the development of the child's brain. If we are to stop de-evolving as a society here in America, we need to re-learn what society is all about and how to love and have compassion for each other. Other nations are not having near the problems with depression and mental illness that we are, and upon examination, we can see that their societal setups are more friendly, open, and caring. Especially in middle and poverty class areas, abuse and neglect is rampant here in the U.S. I was recently told that our area is once again, #1 for domestic violence. A psychologist friend of mine told me once that, "There are no bad kids, just bad parents, you get out of a kid what you put into them." We can and should do our best to be understanding of children's limitations and differences. Alot less people would be paying me and my other counseling, psychologist, psychiatrist, and coaching friends, if that were the case, and it would make us happy in that case, to have to find another line of work!

Think about it!
Angelia