Leaving the Nest

At the end of our adolescence we need to separate from our parents and find a level of autonomy.

This will be different for each individual. Those whose parents send them off to college, know that it will be longer for those to leave the nest fully. (My oldest son!) Some get jobs right out of school and move out as soon as possible. (That's what I did!) Either way, eventually it will be necessary for the individual to separate from their family and come to a sense of autonomy.

Unfortunately, for some children who grow up in abusive homes, decisions can be rushed with negative results. Some children cling to a supportive parent when an abusive one is out of the home, and become co-dependent. I have met groups of siblings living together, who believe that no one else understands, and they must stick together. It's like they have melded into a unit. The one good at budgeting does it, the one more outgoing does the shopping, etc. This is not separation or autonomy. These individuals will never fully live their own lives. Sometimes one of the siblings "meets someone" and moves out, leaving the other lost in the world, feeling alone.

Separation is a good and natural thing. All baby birds must leave the nest, if they are to start their own. If you have never made that step of separation, examine why that is. Then decide if you would want to live your own life, flying on your own vibrant wings. Some people are so wounded that they don't want to. If you would like to, start by taking on your own responsibilities, step by step, until you feel ready to be out on your own. Freedom to fly how you want to is wonderful!

Autonomy will be an important step in the process. You must be able to rely on yourself, and not go running to others to help you out at every step. Granted, there are always some people who for whatever reasons, need help, and they should be afforded it, if they truly need it. Most of us can tell the difference. Sometimes the baby bird just needs a little push.

Once we leave our families and strike out on our own, we can become who we want to be. The satisfaction of living your true self, and serving your purpose here on Earth, is worth the fear and anxiety of leaving the nest.

Until next time!

Love, Angelia